Sunday, January 1, 2012

In Sickness and In Health

Going into surgery this time I expected everything to be about the same as my first operations... this was #5 and I was pretty sure I had everything down to an art. But there was one thing that was majorly different this time around, and it was a very welcome surprise.

When I was diagnosed back in 2008 I was married. I'm not interested in bashing anyone, but the simple fact was he just didn't show up for me. My mom took care of me; stayed with me, clothed me, bathed me, everything. He pouted, complained, and acted like he didn't care how I was doing. A month after my diagnosis we were getting divorced. I was still using a walker when I signed the papers. I went through that divorce knowing that no one would probably ever want me... I was physically scarred, probably wouldn't be able to have kids, and I would always be at high risk for getting cancer again. Who would want to be with someone like that at my age?

This surgery, three years later, I'm married again. But this time, my mom stayed home. My husband spent every night in the hospital with me, waking up constantly to help me get out of bed, bring me water, wiping my face as I threw up, yelling at nurses who weren't doing their job, and making sure I got the medicine I needed. He was loving, compassionate, and nurturing; everything a husband should be in that situation. He showed me what it really meant to be there in sickness and in health. He demonstrated a concept of marriage that I had never fully understood before and it made me love him more than I ever have. I thank God every day for bringing him into my life. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through this surgery without him. My mom broke a rib right after and was unable to help much (although even if she could have I don't think David would have let her). But if he hadn't been there I wouldn't have had anyone. It felt really good to have a husband that I could rely on, lean on, and turn to when I really needed him. He was there for me physically, emotionally, and financially... he really took care of me, above and beyond.

There are men out there that will love you no matter what. There are men that will be there for you during your cancer. The idea that a young adult with cancer is undateable is a lie. David proved that to me, and I love him for it. I pray every day that God will never take him away from me. He is the first man I have ever truly needed. The world needs more men like him.

1 comment:

  1. That's wonderful! I'm a cancer survivor, too, and my husband was right there with me, too.


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting..... 'WHAT A RIDE!'"