Monday, February 6, 2012

All Nerves and Needles

This week is somewhat of crunch time for me. For those that don't know, I have been working my butt off to get into a PhD program in molecular biology and cancer genetics. This has been one of the biggest challenges of my life. In my undergraduate program I studied religion and ancient Greek... a far cry from medical science. Because of that, I am spending this year taking classes and working in a molecular biology lab (we are studying breast cancer) in order to get some experience. It has been, like I said, a huge challenge and honestly one of the most rewarding things I've done in awhile career wise. I've come so far since that first day of class and though this might sound arrogant, I am so proud of myself. Medical school can sound so daunting and when I began I certainly didn't fully realize what I was getting into, and now that I do, I am still so eager to start my degree. I love everything about medical research. There are millions of problems to solve and I just love the idea of picking one and trying to come up with a solution. In my case, I hope to be able to come up with a solution one day that could help cure some type of cancer. The idea of being apart of that is overwhelming to me.

Which comes to this week. *Sigh*. My PhD admissions interview is this week (though there is a slight chance they might move it to next week). I'm trying so hard to prepare for it but how do you really prepare for something that will decide your future like that? I have only applied to one school so my eggs are in one basket. But that is the only school I want to go to. So as I sit here and think about how I will answer their questions I can't help but be nervous about the outcome. I am confident in my ability and I am confident that God has me here for a reason and whatever happens is meant to be, but there will be disappointment no doubt if I don't get accepted. But either way this year of preparation won't be for nothing. It has taught me invaluable information in regards to my own disease... I understand cancer and Lynch Syndrome better than I ever did before and explaining it to others is much easier now. Everything the professors here have taught me will help me in making future decisions about my medical care regardless of whether or not I am able to start my PhD.

Prayers are appreciated as I prepare and complete the most important interview of my life thus far. Not sure when I will hear if I am accepted or not, but hopefully it won't be too long... I might have a seizure from anticipation!!

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"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting..... 'WHAT A RIDE!'"