YOU ARE A NEW
CAREGIVER
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
The realization that you are now a caregiver
could have manifested itself over an extended period of time, as your loved
one's health began to slowly decline, or instantaneously, with the
pronouncement that all is not well. Thus, you may have had time to prepare
yourself for your role, or you may have been shocked into realizing your world
has just been rocked, and you have not had the time to determine what that
means to you, your loved one, your immediate family, your close friends, and
your distant relatives.
If you are unfamiliar with what being a
caregiver entails, you might experience fear, confusion, frustration, and a
myriad of other feelings that need immediate resolution.
Next, the role of caregiver stares you
squarely in the face. Personally, I had no idea what that meant and,
unfortunately, I learned the hard way – I was self-taught.
With knowledge comes understanding. With
understanding comes a sense or order and a reduced feeling of chaos. For me,
obtaining the information I needed to know had a bit of a calming effect.
My suggested Caregiver Learning Curve Phases
are as follows:
·
Phase
1: Self-Assessment: What do I know? What do I need to know about –
and quickly?
·
Phase
2: Knowledge is
Power: Time to do some
homework/research.
·
Phase
3: Create a Plan: Organize yourself and your activities. Begin
to record pertinent data.
·
Phase
4: Work Your Plan: Create,
modify, and refine your plan.
·
Phase
5: Expand Your Knowledge Base: Continue to study everything possible about the medical malady
your patient is facing.
·
Phase
6: Flexibility is a Must: As the patient’s medical conditions change,
the caregiver must adjust their caregiving methods to mirror the changes.
·
Phase
7: Self-Analysis: What have I gained from my experience? How
will this affect me immediately, in the short term, and for the rest of my
life?
Throughout each of these phases, there are a
few constants, things to do and consider along the way:
·
Ask
Questions: Ask your loved one
about their feelings, beliefs, desires and, though unpleasant, what they would
like to occur if the outcome is not positive. Consider medical, personal,
financial and all other categories that might come into play at a later date.
Determine who to ask and what questions you have.
·
Be
Prepared: Be proactive.
Determine the questions and answers before you need to act. Research your
various options. Create an action plan in the event you need to take action. Do
you need to consult with an attorney, a home health-care provider, a member of
the clergy, a funeral home or cemetery? These are but a few of the categories
that need to be addressed in advance of a possible occurrence. Though the hope
is you never will need to act upon the information obtained, it is important to
have them handy, just in case.
·
Keep
Records: Write down everything
that happens, when it happens. Chart all medical information and
doctor-nurse-patient activities. Keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions
throughout. It may help you to brainstorm with yourself and record your
feelings for later use. Your memory may be compromised due to stress and
exhaustion. Writing everything down is essential for you and your care
recipient. It was one of the more meaningful activities I undertook and it
helped me immensely throughout our ordeal.
·
Experimentation
May Improve the Process. Never get too
comfortable with your routine. If there are things that bother you, consider
viable alternatives. Are you allowing for enough “me time?” Can you improve
upon your methods? Trying different activities and strategies might make your
caregiving job more bearable and manageable – and might diffuse possible
tension between the loved one and caregiver.
·
Obtain
Resources: Find others who will
volunteer to assist in the care of the person you’re helping, or who might be
willing to take over a few of your less desirable duties. Seek friends,
relatives, professional agencies, volunteer groups, etc. Create a list of
support you need and who can provide it.
·
Self-Assessment: Continually evaluate your own feelings and
emotional standing. Are you becoming depressed? Are you taking care of yourself
along with the patient? Is life still enjoyable? Are you resentful? If you are
unable to respond positively, perhaps it’s time to consult with a family
physician, a member of the clergy or a health-care professional.
·
Do Not
Go It Alone: It’s okay to have fun,
to laugh and to enjoy yourself. If you are unable to do so, it may be time to
see professional assistance.
Being a caregiver is not easy. The learning
curve is steep and always changing. In order to succeed at offering your loved
one the best care possible, one needs to embrace the stages of learning, and
never stop adjusting, for each day, each hour and each minute may be different
from the last.
Once you master your role and
responsibilities, it could be a treasured and invaluable time for you and your
loved one. The relationship will surely change. In many cases, as it was for my
wife and me, it changed for the better.
Rob Harris
